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Thursday, June 9, 2011

Teenage Daughters and Other Teenagers

If you follow me on Facebook on you have seen this video there. But I get a bit more personal on this end and I want to dedicate this video to my teenage relatives and all of the parents trying to raise them. Heck, I need to dedicate this to all of you who have raised or are raising or will be raising teenagers!
It is an honor and a chore. A big fat headache! It is a pain in your behind! It is a wild roller coaster ride! It is the most rewarding job I have ever had! I know. I know, I am crazy! I lost my individuality while raising kids. Five of 'em! with a wonderful man at my side.  I have gray hair to prove I am a survivor! I wear a badge of honor on my sleeve. I survived it barely! I am bittersweet because my youngest daughter Hannah turns 20 this month. My youngest son Nick is still a teenager! My other three are Noelle (35), Jeremy (25) and Rebekah (22).
I started thinking about my life and how we managed through thick and thin (mostly thin) to raise our phamily. We still have some tough times but we are blessed to be working and to have our health. Then I got a very tragic phone call.
My oldest daughter called to say that my nephew Brian's ex-wife Tammy was killed in a car accident. They have two teenage daughters and recently went to court for the girls to decide where they chose to live. Ali with her dad and Brittany with her mom. Sad, and somewhat bittersweet. Both girls will be reunited living with their dad. It is very sad that they lost their mother. No one wants to lose their mom. But it will be a blessing in this tragedy that they will be together as sisters in the same household. Sister should not be separated! These girls are blessed because they have a big sister who lives in Oregon. They also have a big brother who lives here. They have a little brother and they have twin sisters at their dad's house! I think sometime being fractured can make you strong. I am sure it must be true. I always had the luxury of living with two parents. Today kids have such a mix of lifestyles. I pray these teenage girls will remain balanced and healthy and happy. No one should lose their mom. Some of us have been there, some have not. It is a difficult road to travel. I have often felt like I was walking across broken glass never getting to where I needed to be, with my mom.
I may have told you this dream before but when my big sis Pat passed away in 2001 she passed around the same time my friend Alyn lost her own mother. Dale Evans also passed away too. All in the month of February. Then we lost our home and had to move into a rental. Our black lab Shadow (he had a gypsy soul) got out one evening trying to go to the lake where we lived. He was hit and killed on a busy road one block from our house. It was devastating. My sister and my dog! There was no more grief that I could bear. Then my mother passed away in November 2001. She died on the birthday of her own mother, my BFF grandma S. who passed away when I was in the 6th grade, 1967. I had lost my dad in 1985, 4 months before the birth of my first son and my folks grandson number, I am not certain, you have to ask Noelle, the keeper of the phamily files! I dreamed about seeing my dad after his death but not my mom! It bothered me but one night shortly after her death I dreamed about Shadow. I dreamed he ran from me and into Webster Lake, near my home. When he swam to the center of the lake he jumped up out of the water with a huge splash! He looked directly at me and I felt the Lord tell me in that dream that everything would be alright. Why I dreamed of that silly dog started me then but now I understand. God knew I needed that message to know all was well in my phamily. So tonight pray for Ali and Brittney. That they will be ok. That the loss of their mother will not break their hearts but rather that they may use their hearts to live a wonderful life and leave a legacy for their own children someday that they grew up to be beautiful, confident and kind women. I hope you will share your teenage years with me. Now let me leave you with a little Erma Bombeck. That girl could make you laugh and she would make you weep. But she was a beautiful strong woman and she survived raising those teens!

"Being a child home alone int he summer can be a high- risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."

"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one, Helen Keller the other."

"When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies."

"Enter my first neighbor, a woman who spoke in complete,coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and a fork and who only cried at weddings.I couldn't help myself. In a dramatic gesture, I bolted the door and threw myself across it to prevent her exit. She understood."

"When your mother asks, Do you want a piece of advice, it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no, you are going to get it anyway."

"Never lend your car to anyone you have give birth to."

"Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage. "  

8 comments:

FishHawk said...

"Phamilyblog" has been included in this weeks Sites To See. I hope you like the image I featured,and I hope this helps to attract many new visitors here.

http://asthecrackerheadcrumbles.blogspot.com/2011/06/sites-to-see_10.html

Chatty Crone said...

I saw you on As the Cracker Crumbles. And I had - a long time ago - a teenage daughter!

Heather's Blog-o-rama said...

HI Anne...thanks for sharing about your family. I'm sorry about the two sisters losing their mom. Every girl needs her mom...always, especially in the teenage years. I'm glad that they have each other :) :)

The Martina McBride video was cute and funny :) :) Thanks for posting that. I don't ahve kids...but I remember being a teenager :) :)

Have a good weekend. Love and hugs from Oregon, Heather :)

NanaDiana said...

What a terrible tragedy for those two girls to lose their mother at this time of their young lives. And, it sounds like you have not had an easy road to walk either. I am saying a prayer for those girls and for you...because you are a good soul and I think you could use an extra prayer right about now! xo Diana

Melissa said...

Sent this to my sis who has a 13 yr old son. Same issues though.

Jenny said...

Such a sad post. Raising teenagers is definitely not for sissies.

Stephanie ~ Angelic Accents said...

What a very touching post. I love the song and video, but then I really read what you were sharing and I'm so sorry about the tragic losses in both your life and your nephew's family, too. My prayer is that the girls will be strong and put the Lord first in their lives, as I'm sure their mother would have wanted. Love all the Erma Bombeck quotes!

Love you,
Stephanie
Angelic Accents

Intense Guy said...

What a sad tragedy for those two girls to lose their mother - they are so young.

*hugs*