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Wednesday, August 3, 2011

PARAPROSDOKIAN

 Please come join the Alphabet Thursday fun! Stop by Jenny's.

Paraprosdokian

  
    I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian. 

 
  
     Okay, so now enjoy! 

   
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 


     2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list 
 
      3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them        speak.  

     4. If  I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.   

     5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public

 
     6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

     7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
 
     8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

     9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
 
     10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
 
     11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
 
     12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'


     13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

 
     14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
 
     15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
 
     16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
 
     17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
 
     18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
 
     19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.


     20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
 
     21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
 
     22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.


     23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

 
     24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

 
     25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 

 
     26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

 
     27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

     28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
 
     29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
 
     30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. 

   
Words of Wisdom "The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." 




 

  
 

 





 


19 comments:

Pondside said...

Those were good!

Cindy Adkins said...

Oh wow, I never heard that word before and I used to teach English! And what great examples, Anne!

XO
Cindy

beckyp said...

I have never heard that word either Great post

JDaniel4's Mom said...

What fun! I really enjoyed these.

Andy said...

That word was a new one to me too, but what fun your post was!
Thanks for the hearty laughs.

Thanks also for the visit. Much appreciated.

Sweet Tea said...

You are the funny girl today.
Thanks for the smile!

Laugh and the world laughs with you,
Cry and you'll have a runny nose.

Barbara said...

Oh now that is humorous!!! :0)

Hugs XX
Barbara

taylorsoutback said...

Definitely a new word to me also - now I know what to call those type of phrases...

They were all excellent!!!

Ames said...

These are great. I live by a few myself.~Ames

PⒿ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

A new word for me....and a great post, Anne!

tidbitsandtreasures2011 said...

It sounded more like a name than a language term. Your examples were a fun read and definitely reinforced the idea. Now I just have to learn how to pronounce it!

Sue said...

Thanks! These are great fun.

=)

PS. Thanks for the new word, too.

The Boston Lady said...

Anne, although I have lots of those, I never knew what they were called, so thank you for the education! Ann

edenhills said...

Love these! What a great stop for Alphabe-Thursday!

Teresa

Coralie Cederna Johnson said...

Anne! What an interesting post! I've not heard that word before and it's so full of ideas and fun! Thanks for sharing and have a great day!
Coralie

Kim B said...

These are cracking me up!!! I lost your email address, so sorry. I got my wonderful giveaway goodies. I am going to post on my blog now. You are a sweetie. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the book and the fat quarters and the tea!!! Thanks so very much. Hugs, Kim

Francisca said...

Hah, how funny, someone just sent this to me by email too! Good P post!

Jenny said...

What a perfectly perfect link to the letter "P".

These made me smile!

Thanks for sharing.

A+

Vicki aka Jake said...

OH, I LOVE these! Think # 14 is my favorite:) Thanks for the new word!