Thursday, November 28, 2013

Broken Hearts and Heaven

If I don't laugh, I will just start bawling again! Today I learned from sweet Parsley that Freddy a precious pooch belonging to Nikki passed away. Perhaps he did not belong to her, rather she was owned by Freddy. Made my heart break. Loss is hard. No matter who you lose whether human or fur baby, the loss is all the same.

A precious poem found on google image.
October 27, 2013, our tiny dancer chilling with her blanket in her bed. All these weeks since she left this earth no one but Bandit had the courage to climb into her bed. Last  night Stella parked her rather large buns in there too! She hung over all the sides! It was comical and she looked up at me as if to say "You needed to laugh didn't you?" I catch myself thinking "I need to cook Roxanne's chicken." She had the best chicken breast hand poached three times a week by me. My father would chuckle, he would look so lovingly at my mother and say "Ma, what do you think God thinks of it all?" I don't know every single though the Lord is thinking but my whole entire life I have asked for signs. He provides them. The night we lost Roxanne we all paraded to Hannah's bedroom to remind the lil sweetheart how much we loved her and that we knew she was not able to hang on much longer. As we filed in the room and said her name, she lifted her tiny head and ears to look up at each one of us. After her passing, my hubby said, did you notice that her little body was so empty? I think God does take them home. I don't handle death really well. Twenty eight years after the loss of my own father I am still sad. The holidays remind me how much he loved his phamily and how he enjoyed spending time with all the phamily. Twelve years after losing my mother I miss her Thanksgiving stuffing. I attempted to duplicate her cheesecake and although I have no recipe to work with I found something very similar and smiled when I ate that first bite. She would say, "Good cheesecake just don't forget to pray. Remember to be kind and if you can't, than pray harder."
February 3, 2012. Trek, he belongs to Noelle and her phamily. He loves the snow. He is a quirky fellow. If he likes you he will pee on you! He is such an excitable fellow. He suffers from seizure disorder. Broke my heart on September 11th when he suffered a major seizure. I had to leave the room, I was weeping for him! He is young, born on Valentine's Day, four years ago. But the seizures are heartbreaking. I wish there was a cure for them, not only for Trek but everyone who suffers from them.
Mr. Bandito, one of the nicknames Jeremy gave this BFF of his. Here he is chilling in the comfy bed poor Sophie his pal outgrew! He is an odd little guy. Circles around three times before he runs outside and again before he does his business. He is not as young as he once was. But he loves Jeremy and my son wants him to live forever.
I like life when it is simple. We all need sleep and food!
November 2, 2009. Ah Tinkerbell., we lost her May 2010. Damn cancer, It is the kindest way I can describe it. This girl spent fourteens years with us. She was a runaway. Had a few scrapes with the law, had to have a chip implant! Laugh Out Loud! You hate it when the cops call you! But she lived a gypsy life until we corralled her.  She and Rebekah were inseparable.  She is probably showing Roxanne around the other side of life after we lose it.
Oh Reggie, my friend, Boots, my pal. Mr. Kitty my BFF! The day you left me to go to the Rainbow Bridge I lost a part of my heart. A piece like the one missing from a puzzle. My Boots boy was a very dignified cat. He was a first class act. I miss him dearly but know he is watching me from heaven. I bet he is showing Roxanne and Tinkerbell how cats and dogs all get along in their new home. He was funny like that when he was here. he made the valiant effort to get along with all the other pets. He is so dearly missed.

"Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal.  Difficult standards for people to live up to." Alfred A. Montapert


LV said...

Pets are fun to have but the loss is just too much. We had pets until I lost my husband, and they were mostly his. We went through too much grief and that is why I will never have another. Use some of your love and energy on those in need.

Julie Tucker-Wolek said...

So sorry :(

Terra said...

Oh those are sad losses of pets, and they are family members or as you say "phamily" members. Sometimes I think that when we die all the animals that loved us will be waiting to greet us in heaven.

Marilyn said...

My big black "baby" has been gone two years now and I still miss him. Newfies are so loving and BooBoo thought he was a lap dog! Hope you can laugh at some of the memories that were the best of the bunch. Hugs to you.♥♫

Furry Bottoms said...

Hi :) thank you for the mention about Freddy. It is still heartbreaking and I get hit with bouts of grief all throughout the day. He really was my heart and soul. I just didn't realize just how much until I realize he's not following me or tripping me. I'm still going by his insulin schedule and he doesn't need it anymore. And boy did he love that chicken!

Dewena said...

They do give us high standards to live up to. Most of us, I'm sure, share in the sadness of this post with you because we've been there. It's the kind of hurt we can't avoid because to do so would mean that we never let ourselves love them, and that is impossible.

When our little 15 year dachshund died almost a year ago, my husband and I both said we couldn't do it again. That we when our other 2 dogs are gone that we wouldn't replace them. And yet, there is still a hole in my heart that continues to long for a dachshund.

I know these holidays will be so hard for you. Nothing makes the hurt go away, but I pray that it will still be a blessed time for you.

Sending love,

TexWisGirl said...

nicole and her mom loved freddy so much and tried their darnedest to keep him well. :(

Mevely317 said...

Aw Anne, your poignant words just brought tears to my eyes - 'specially the part where you all walked into Hannah's room to say g'bye.

Even now ... still, my heart hurts for the loss of Caraleigh. Not sure if that's why I've a challenge bonding with the "new girls"?

Someday, when we're all together again ... our furbabies have lots of 'splaining to do, don't they? :)


Parsley said...

I know...and feel your pain. So hard.

Intense Guy said...