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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Raising Boys: Hair Raising

Raising Boys - 24 key points to ponder

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!

b) For those who already have children past this age, this is
hilarious.

c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...

Things I've learned from my Boy's (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.ft. house
4
inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
Roller
blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman

cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a
paint can, to spread paint on all Four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by a
ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already
too
late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
old
Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
can't
walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials
show
they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
like
ovens.

20.) The fire department in La Mesa, CA has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.

25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or
without kids.

A modern parent will show this to their kids and say :

DON'T DO IT!!!

8 comments:

Chatty Crone said...

Oh my goodness - I am sending this to my daughter so she knows what she is going through is NORMAL! lol

sandie

Parsley said...

Please...tell me you're kidding! Did all this happen in YOUR home? If so...how are you still sane?

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

So happy I came by here today...I have to share this for sure.
Strange I thought I was already a follower of yours but it showed I wasn't.
Anyway now I am...lol
Have a great day
Maggie

Amy said...

And I thought one girl child was impossible!!!

HaHaHa

Thanks for a laugh.

Have a blessed day.

jamjar said...

If that all happened to one poor mom she should receive some sort of prize or at least some sort of mental health care "cuz I'm sure she must need it by now...At least my boys never tied a paint can to the ceiling fan!!! They did however put a pizza on the blades and turned it on to see how far it would fling the pizza...pretty far and pizza sauce can stain an antique white wall!

Heart2Heart said...

These are great! I loved them all and just when I think I missed something just having girls, I will look at this list again. Priceless.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Just Kim said...

Thus far, none of our boys have used our ceiling fans in any way but what they were intended for.

A couple of my boys did use fabric paint to make hand prints on the living room carpet. Steamatic was called before I could even think and they were able to get it out.

The Omaha, NE fire department has a 5 minute response time and I know this because my 3 year old figured out the panic button to our alarm system. According to the guy installing it, this was child proof.

Christy said...

You know I want to find out what happens to play doh in a microwave, but I am going to use restraint! Ah, boys I love them!! Funny post.