Saturday, March 27, 2021

March 27, 2021


Always a difficult day for me. On this date, my big sister Pat was born. She was the first born of our parents and she was the apple of my daddy's eye. She passed away way too young in 2001 , from the dreaded "c" word. I hate cancer so much for stealing my sister. She was the kindest person.   She had a big heart and she loved and laughed and enjoyed life so very much. The first photo is her as a small girl with our brother Bill and dad and mom. They were so sweet. My sister was so perfect and my brother, well, he was rough and tumble boy. Looks like mom was holding him back from running out of the photo.

My pretty sister was married when I was a toddler, not quite Brody's age. She and Gary my Michigan brother-in-law were so cute together. They had a goodmarriage until her untimely passing. He did not last much longer after she was gone. He passed away too soon as well. She was a solid rock, she took such care of him and their five sons. She always said God would give her granddaughters. He did. She has five of them, Shelby, Racheille, McKenzie, and great grandgirls  Hannah and Paisley Joe. If my sister saw the youngest one today, she would think she was looking into a mirror as well as looking at her twin with Racheille.  She had one grandson, Joseph-  daddy to Hannah and Paisley Joe.

I am guessing this is my other older brother Ed and Pat looking on with our mom.  I wish this photo had been dated.

My sister was so tall. I took after our short mom. Pat was nearly 6 feet tall.

My other older sister Mary with Pat (middle) and Mom. If there was something silly you could hear my sister Pat laught out loud. She was a sweetheart. As I sort through old photos and try to recall each one I know I will find more of us. It is a project I have put off too long.

I found a poem for a heavenly birthday wish at google. I would not wish my sister back to this messy life we life today, but if I could see her for a moment to tell her once more I love you, I would be so happy.

On this day 34 years ago I was told our unborn daughter Rachel Lee no longer was living. It is a blow that hurts my heart today and everyday for the rest of my life. I once worked with a very outspoken woman who also lost a child inutero, Instead of being kind she bluntly said, Are you  still mourning an unborn baby you lost years ago? You are damn right I am still grieving my daughter. I suppose as a believer I know I will see Rachel again. I am so very sorry that lady will never see her child. Someone who lost their unborn child said it is like a life long panic attack, it never leaves you. When we lost our daughter we received dozens of cards and letters that I Keep in a special box. Most of them understood the pain first hand. It was a greater comfort than anything else at that time in our lives. Like Alastor Avery and all other little ones who went before us, I close my eyes and wonder how they would look today. God gave us a gift and he needed that gift returned to him. We will not understand in this world but we will in the next. It is a great hope for me.

"For this child I prayed,  and the Lord has granted me my petition which I made to Him. Therefore I have lent him to the Lord ; as long as he lives. he is lent to the Lord. 1 Samuel 1 : 27-28

Missing these loved ones today and everyday. Thank you for letting me share my heart. 


Ginny Hartzler said...

What a lot of sorrow you have lived through, I am so sorry. The bible verse you chose is such a comfort, what would we do without our faith?

Edna B said...

My goodness, your sister was tall! In my family the girls are short and the guys are tall. Interesting. You have a wonderful day, hugs, Edna B.

Mevely317 said...

Oh dear Anne. Thank you for sharing your pain with us today. I can't begin to comprehend your loss of Rachel. (And I'm shaking my head at that outspoken hard-hearted woman. Her loss.) I love how you continue to honor your loved ones.

What could we cling to, if not the promise of a reunion some day?

Big Hugs!

messymimi said...

It's so hard, remembering all those who are gone. We love them enough to let them go but boy do we miss them still. It's okay to feel both things, happy for them being in Heaven and sad for us missing them.

pilch92 said...

Sending you hugs as you remember your sweet sister. XO

Sandee said...

Big healing hug, honey. ♥

Brian said...

Big hugs as you remember your special Sister.