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Friday, July 31, 2015

"Bullies" Even in BoJon Town

You know I was recently at my friend Pamela's blog : Pamela. She has a beautiful place I like to go for encouragement and kindness.  Recently she acknowledged that she had bullied someone in school a long time ago. I was reading the previous comments and a flood of feelings came over me. Bullies are everywhere. I am not condoning the Columbine killers here, but at a young age they were bullied too. One of them had a very strict father who had served in the military and although the young man wished to be like his father, he was tormented instead. I do not even know words to use for bullying that leads to  further violence and even mass murders! But I do know the pain of a bully. As a kid in the 6th grade, walking home from school one day, I was attacked by a girl who lived near my home. She attended Edison public school and was a bit rough around the edges. She slammed me up against a wrought iron fence, on Mesa Avenue.  It was the home of the Hiza's. I went to school with their grandkids, the Krasovec's. She accused me of saying terrible things about her mother! Her mother had been ill for a long time and she passed away while we were still young. It hurt my heart because my friend Karen high tailed it out of there and left me with this bully! She hung me up on that wrought iron fence and I was still one of those shy kids so I did nothing to fight back! Today I might have laid her out on the sidewalk, because after a while you just can not take it anymore! But the worst part about it all was the fact that I never said an unkind word about her or her mother! I was raised better than that! Yet it hurt me to think someone did say unkind words about her mom and said I was the gossip! You know if I saw that girl today, I am not sure I would want to be on the same side of the sidewalk as her. It hurt me deeply.
I am not perfect. I have had my share of talking about someone else. I doubt anyone, anywhere could say that at some point in their own life, they  never gossiped .  When I was working the miserable job that cut me loose last November I saw and heard things that were so unkind and rude. It made me sad to think an educated man like that doctor would participate in such gossip but truthfully, there are men who are every bit as bad as women when it comes to gossip!

Once I walked into our break room and heard the doctor carrying on about a patient who was an unwed mother. His office manager at the time was very ignorant. She was not raised properly, I do not believe, and the two of them were having a grand time laughing and making fun of this lady. I was stunned by their insults because they both knew myself and another woman in the office, were unwed mothers at one time. My father was a very wise man, he would say , "be glad God is your judge and not people around you!" Amen dad! That is a very truthful statement. The doctor had lived with his wife over twenty years before he proposed marriage.  His office manager married a divorced man! There is a boat load full of insults and meanness in both of their own situations!  I never felt truly comfortable with either one of them after that. If you ever feel yourself in this type of situation there is a ton of Scripture to help you sort out your feelings. Surprisingly, it made me feel much better and I took to surrounding my work space with Scripture and lots of positive and  happy things for the rest of my time there. Here are a few: The Book of James, Chapter 3, Deuteronomy 32:33, Psalm 55:21., Ecclesiastes 10:11. Check them out before you have the urge to gossip.

I was raised by wonderful, kind, God fearing parents. They were really goodhearted and they were not gossiping, evil spewing people! They were about as close to the Lord as you could get. Anything good, decent and kind I learned from them. As a child we were not allowed to bad mouth or "bully" anyone. Even if I was  not fond of someone I was always polite because that was how I was raised. Today too many people lavish praise alone on their children and the kid thinks the world revolves around them. Bullying happens, and what frightens me today is the fact that kids will destroy someone's desire to live by their hatefulness and evil doings. I am so glad I was a raised in a simpler time when people respected each other and kids minded their manners and their parents.

I am going to miss posting these daily but since I have to take a quick road trip to Kansas so we can store Nick's things until school starts, I guess a small break will be nice. Next week we will go on vacation with most of the phamily. It will be a different feeling, Lots of change. Nick heading back to school on August 10, the day we get back from our little mini vacation. That feeling you have after returning from vacation, feeling a little sad that you can not enjoy some more relaxing time. Still hoping to find a decent job and moving from the summertime into the autumn. Life moves forward.

I have said it before, I appreciate all the input from all the wonderful people who took the time to help out. Keep writing those memories down with the wonderful stories. Share your photos. Don't let your heritage slip through your hands. Keep talking about it, we all owe it to those you went before us.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, a great finish to the summer and you keep writing and thinking of all the wonderful memories you have shared. I am sorry I ended my 31 posts on a more difficult post but I felt like I need to share it. Mike Barnett, my great cousin who started me on this path of our heritage once said, I Never said all BoJon's were nice!" There is an occasionally bad apple in everything in life. I just think bullying is such an overlooked problem in schools today. You can't just tell a kid stick up for someone, someone, like an adult needs to be around to control the situation. I think people want kids to solve difficult problems by themselves and this is one of those problems that you can's smile and say, it will be ok. We all need to stand together and stop bullying for good! Have a great evening and thanks for stopping by!


Denise said...

thank you for sharing.

Edna B said...

You're right, bullying is everywhere. And we've all been guilty of gossiping. I can't condone the young people who are out murdering others because they were bullied or persecuted somehow. A lot of us were bullied, but we did not go out and kill people. It's sad that these young folks had a lot of problems growing up, but they need to be punished for killing and hurting innocent people.

I like the saying about talking with each other. This could definitely solve a lot of serious problems in our communities.

What do you think of the dentist who killed the famous lion in Africa? The African government wants him extradited to their country. In a way, I think he should be. If it were a crime committed in this country, we would be asking the same thing.

I've been listening to a lot of pros and cons, but I believe he knew exactly what he was killing and how he would be able to do it. What I find despicable is the way he killed the lion. He (or someone else with him) took video of the wounded lion before he finally killed it. He was not there to find food to feed his family. He was there for the thrill of stalking and killing a beautiful animal.

Gosh, I seem to be going off on a rant here. Sorry.

Enjoy your vacation and your time with Nick before he has to go back to school. Have a fabulous weekend. Hugs, Edna B.

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

Bullying is a very sad part of life and hard to escape. I've have the experience on and off in my life and had to learn that there are just some very unhappy people in life who only feel better about themselves when they putt someone else down. It's frightening when bullying gets violent and that is when all measures to stop it should take place.

Enjoy your blog break and trip to Kansas with your son, Anne!

PS: I've enjoyed reading about your ethnic heritage! Nice memories and photos.

Jeannie Marie said...

Your Love Is... cartoon is so true. Mornings are not the same now that my late husband is gone. God is good and I know how fortunate I was to have many cups of coffee brought to me by a husband who showed his love in little ways like that. I enjoyed the whole post though, it's just that little cartoon stood out today.

Intense Guy said...

There are a lot of small minded, mean spirited, busy bodies that we would all be better off without - or ignoring.

I have learned to ignore several people around me almost to the point of "Oh? They were here? Really?" - it's the only thing that keeps me from getting lividly angry some days.