Waiting...

My mind is wandering....all day today. Yesterday we sat and watched the judge read the verdict in the Aurora Theater Shooting trial. Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty,!  The judges voice trailing off, was lost inside my mind, I was playing out those lost, those injured, those forever changed by violence so brutal...My heart breaks for the families of those lost. My heart aches for the families dealing with the severity of their injured loved ones. Life is cruel and people take to social media.

The beautiful hearts that did not survive the massacre. within days of the shootings I could tell you things about each one of these wonderful souls.  But I would not and I will not give the shooter the courtesy of looking at him. Why does the mainstream media turn the attention to the killer. When people want to kill they will find a way. We do not need protests, we need love, we need kindness, we need to remember those who died so tragically! Let me recap my thoughts almost three years after that fateful night:
Jon Blunk, smiling, happy, living life. He put himself in harms way to save the life of his friend. A.J. Boik, Nick's age, graduating high school 2012. Excited, heading to college, holding close to the one he loved the most! A.J. loved purple, those attending his funeral were asked to wear purple. He would have liked it and he would have smiled. Jesse Childress, quiet, smart, funny! Jeremy had played flag football with him. A loss so difficult for his family they asked for privacy and to be left to their own thoughts and grief. Gordon Cowden, threw himself on his two children to protect them, to save their lives, he died doing so.One of his daughters says the last words she heard him say were  "I love you, I love you both." Jessica Ghwai, a bright shining star. Life was good, shortly before the shooting she had been in a food court at a Mall in Canada  weeks earlier, where someone opened fired on the crowds of people. She had just left the area. Her mother wears her scarf. She said she feels Jessie's hugs because the shooter took away the real ones she should have.  John Larimer, a Navy man! Happy, smart, enjoying an evening out. Gone in a moment. everything to live for taken away from him and all the others in a moment. Life is cruel, it is fleeting. Matt McQuinn enjoying a date with his best girl. Guarding her from harm, taken way too soon. His family left to grieve.  Wanting a reason why. It will never be given to them. Micayla Medek, pretty as a picture. Working at Subway, loving her title "Sandwich artist". Attending college, trying to live a young girls dream. The picture of her own mother, holding her mother yesterday, trying to be brave, so she would not break down.  Veronica Moser-Sullivan, a small child, a little precious life, gone in the blink of an eye! Her mother paralyzed from the attack. Her unborn sibling lost from the trauma and shock of it all. Her father says what keeps his sanity today, the mountains that his little girl loved. He is climbing the Colorado 14er's, all 53 of them! They give him the only peace he seems to have today. Alex "Sully" Sullivan, enjoying a movie with friends, celebrating his birthday,  getting ready to celebrate his first wedding anniversary the next day, taken away from those he loved and he from them .Alex Teves, gone, a bright shining life dimmed, never to shine in this world again. Working with at risk youths. They were devastated. They said he gave them hope, and courage, to begin again. Amanda, his girlfriend, took his last name , runs in  the Colfax Marathon 26.2 miles for those who lost their lives and those whose lives were forever changed. Life makes no sense, many rally around the shooter as if he is some sort of urban legend. Others judge him . It is a terrible twist of fate, to make a decision, life in prison or death. Pray for the jurors.  Rebecca Wingo wanted to stay home with her children, she perished, her friend survived. He lives with the guilt each day as the years tick away. Everyone who knew Rebecca said her smile would light up a room! Gone but never forgotten.

I am no expert on grief. But I have seen it in the faces of those who have loved someone taken away in such an unthinkable crime. I watched these same faces when the Oklahoma Bombing trial was here in Denver. Each and every day I drove my husband to work on my way to my own job and I had to drive in front of the courthouse. The media circus, the families, their faces filled with sadness, with grief, with unbelief that their loved ones were never coming back. My daughter knows someone who knows this grief well. If you follow Face Book please read yesterday's post from Coni Sanders. She knows grief well, her father Dave Sanders died at Columbine HS in Littleton, Colorado 16 years ago.  As if life didn't  punch Coni hard enough, she is a breast cancer survivor. She works with those so troubled she tries to help them put their lives back together. She talks about love....

If you know me, you know I rely on my faith to pull me through life's difficulties. These words ring true today: